Phone Message: Getting Serious

I have decided to forego the frivolous ways of my past and devote my energies to more serious pursuits. To this end, from now on I will be recording the wisdom of the ages in capsulized form on this machine. By calling every week, you will be able to learn everything there is to know about everything by the year 5021. Because soon my time will be much too valuable to waste on interpersonal relationships, if you wish to leave a message, you had better do it … now.